This summer I spent a bunch of time with family and saw some of my best old friends. I hiked a lot and swam a lot and walked on the beach too, which was amazing. I also made some shifts in behavior.
I'd been holding on to lot of resentment. Old shit. Very old. And with old shit, it can be hard to see it, it becomes like a part of us, part of our identity/personality. Family is (for me) the biggest trigger and also the place of the biggest opportunity for growth. A change in behavior with family has ripple effects because if we can do it there, then we/i can do it anywhere.
For me, as someone who has, at times, checked out of my own feelings to take care of others, NOT doing that feels awfully scary. Not doing that with family is almost terrifying, BUT doing it is liberation! Ironically not taking care of others doesn't seem to be that big deal for them, and I'm finding that it's actually strengthening my relationships.
I found that my tone with family wasn't as snotty and antagonistic as it had been once I realized that I could actually take care of myself, say yes or no nicely and mean it, and know that it didn't equal disaster or being shamed.
Now I am doing it all over the place! It's quite incredible really! Cheers to breakthroughs!