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JENNIFER SILVERMAN

Feeling my feelings, not feeding my feelings

4/6/2012

2 Comments

 
I admit, I am a bit stressed out here, so many new things, feeling like I don’t have much of a comfort zone. So what do I do when I don’t feel like I have a comfort zone? Create one with food. It’s true, I admit it. I Reward myself with food, keep my mind occupied with what I’m going to eat , what I am not going to eat, when and how much.

I realized today while I was at the gym, elipitically reversing my brunch, that something has to give.

It’s not like this behavior is new or even original, my Grandmother at 99 was still obsessed with her weight and would make someone else order dessert if she wanted it. It’s a sickness of society, but again, so what, I can blame anyone and everyone, but it’s still me that has to change my reactions.

What if I ate the way I sleep? I pretty much go to bed when I am tired, and wake up when I am done sleeping. It seems to work very well, and I usually get a good 8 hours and almost always feel rested.

What if I ate what and when I wanted to? I am afraid of myself, afraid that I would only eat brownies and ice cream and I would very soon not be able to get into any of my clothes.

I’ve been restrictive for so long, that the boomerang might be nuts, but I have a lot to do, a lot to think about and I need the space in my brain for other things. I am going to try, slowly, trusting my body to eat when and what I want. Wish me luck.

2 Comments
Dianna
4/6/2012 09:56:48 am

I love this. I can't wait to hear how this "experiment" or sorts turns out. I'm wishing you the best of health!

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Lori
4/14/2012 08:36:41 am

I RELATE! I let myself go in NYC and ate whatever I wanted. It was my way of going easy on myself after a tough year. Honestly, it was great. No, I couldn't fit into any of my clothes after 6 months but I didn't care. Now, I'm back to my old, healthier self, can wear all of my clothes and I'm still ME.;)

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