I realized today while I was at the gym, elipitically reversing my brunch, that something has to give.
It’s not like this behavior is new or even original, my Grandmother at 99 was still obsessed with her weight and would make someone else order dessert if she wanted it. It’s a sickness of society, but again, so what, I can blame anyone and everyone, but it’s still me that has to change my reactions.
What if I ate the way I sleep? I pretty much go to bed when I am tired, and wake up when I am done sleeping. It seems to work very well, and I usually get a good 8 hours and almost always feel rested.
What if I ate what and when I wanted to? I am afraid of myself, afraid that I would only eat brownies and ice cream and I would very soon not be able to get into any of my clothes.
I’ve been restrictive for so long, that the boomerang might be nuts, but I have a lot to do, a lot to think about and I need the space in my brain for other things. I am going to try, slowly, trusting my body to eat when and what I want. Wish me luck.