Ever battled jealousy? I have and it's a brutal beast that tells us we're not enough and that someone else, or many others are living the high life, while we're missing the boat.
Stories abound, the imagination takes root and with social media these stories seem to validate themselves. Here's what jealousy does though, it separates us from our gifts and it alienates others. There's a two dimensionality that happens when someone is reduced to the sum of their parts. Wow, that girl is beautiful, she must have the world at her feet - um no - it really doesn't work that way, and we all KNOW that, but jealousy is blinding, it's not rational.
Recently on a truly enviable (I envied myself) trip to Europe, I found myself playing the comparison game. In the midst of this romantic, beautiful and exciting trip I was kicked in the head by my own thoughts, circling and circling coming back to the idea that whatever I am, whatever I do, it's just not enough. Now, I know enough to know that's not true, but it's not always so simple. What started to occur to me in a deeper way was that I have had an old habit of isolation, of keeping my pain to myself and seeing others as being pain free, rather than understanding that many of us do the same thing. Pain can be a very private thing and that's ok, we aren't obligated to share what we don't want to, however there isn't one of us who doesn't have our own cross to bear and while there are things to celebrate about each of us, it's a real mistake to see that one thing as representative of the whole.
If anyone has ever been jealous of you, then you will know what I mean, it doesn't feel like a compliment, it feels like you're not being seen.
Stories abound, the imagination takes root and with social media these stories seem to validate themselves. Here's what jealousy does though, it separates us from our gifts and it alienates others. There's a two dimensionality that happens when someone is reduced to the sum of their parts. Wow, that girl is beautiful, she must have the world at her feet - um no - it really doesn't work that way, and we all KNOW that, but jealousy is blinding, it's not rational.
Recently on a truly enviable (I envied myself) trip to Europe, I found myself playing the comparison game. In the midst of this romantic, beautiful and exciting trip I was kicked in the head by my own thoughts, circling and circling coming back to the idea that whatever I am, whatever I do, it's just not enough. Now, I know enough to know that's not true, but it's not always so simple. What started to occur to me in a deeper way was that I have had an old habit of isolation, of keeping my pain to myself and seeing others as being pain free, rather than understanding that many of us do the same thing. Pain can be a very private thing and that's ok, we aren't obligated to share what we don't want to, however there isn't one of us who doesn't have our own cross to bear and while there are things to celebrate about each of us, it's a real mistake to see that one thing as representative of the whole.
If anyone has ever been jealous of you, then you will know what I mean, it doesn't feel like a compliment, it feels like you're not being seen.
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