• Home
  • Headshots/Stills
  • Resumé
  • Video/Audio
  • Press
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Home
  • Headshots/Stills
  • Resumé
  • Video/Audio
  • Press
  • Contact
  • Blog
JENNIFER SILVERMAN

Move your fucking bag, and other spiritual lessons

2/6/2020

0 Comments

 
I'll start by qualifying that last weekend was unusually stressful, and I wasn't in the best/calmest place. On Sunday, Max and I were on our way to a shiva in Queens and we wanted to get something to eat in our neighborhood beforehand. I didn't want to show up and beeline for the food, which I did anyway, but that's not the point, they had Levain cookies, so...
We tried some favorite spots near us, but they were jam-packed, and with my blood sugar crankily dropping, we settled on an Italian place we like, it was crowded, but there was enough room to sit.
There's a banquette along one wall, where I sat (I selfishly always take the banquette when I'm with Max) and 4, 2-top tables that use the banquette. There was a bigger dude on one side of me, and no one on the other, so I put my purse on the empty side of me, naturally, then two women were seated, and the woman next to me put her bag next to me too, a cute soft brown natural leather tote. It's a small space and the bags were jostling each other and us. She seemed pissed, because on the other side of her, another woman had spread her shit out and was barely harnessing it into what would be a reasonable amount of space. This kind of, I'll take up the whole sidewalk, put my bags on the seat next to me on a crowded train, manspreading etc., gets under my skin at the best of times, and last Sunday, wasn't the best of times. 
Rising above, I thought I would kindly reach out to my purse rubbing neighbor and I said 'these guys next to me look like they're leaving soon, I can move my bag in a few'. She kinda rolled her eyes and muttered something, I am not sure what it was, but it was whiny and it pissed me off. So I handed my bag to Max, for him to hang off his chair and after a second, when she didn't thank me, I said to Max, 'well, I guess if you're bag has to take precedence over mine, then fine'. We then proceeded to have a surprisingly nice brunch with a psychic wall between us and bad vibes only crossing through now and then. 
Before we left, my neighbor did make a point of hitting me with her bag, which i willfully ignored, I've never been one for a physical fight, and then when we stood up to leave, she put her bag in the spot where I had been sitting, as though her tote were a person and she was ready to order breakfast.   
After we got home from the shiva, I tried to nap, but I was angsty, I kept replaying the scenario. I wondered, would Pema Chodron find herself in this situation? Maybe? Nope. Not.
What's my lesson here? After a while of tossing and turning I had a moment of clarity... this is it... here's the pearl...
Don't do it if you're going to resent it, even if it seems like the right thing. "It", can take the form of many things, inviting someone to your party, opening a door for someone, or moving your bag... don't do it, if you're doing it because you expect something back. Don't do it for any other reason than you want to. 
This lesson is MASSIVE for me. It goes way beyond my bag and navigating spaces in New York, which is definitely a real thing, it's about releasing resentment, it's about not holding others to an imposed standard that they haven't agreed to. It's about not being the 'nice' one and then being pissed about it. It's extremely  liberating and as always, it and I, continue to be a work in progress. 
Thank you purse neighbor, I hope you got as much out of our exchange as I did, and that you enjoyed your Eggs Benedict, not what I would have ordered, but it looked pretty good.   




0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    About Me

    Joyful Canadian loving it up in the Big Apple.  

    Archives

    March 2023
    March 2021
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    May 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    February 2017
    January 2017
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    September 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    50 Words
    Acting
    Alexander Technique
    Audtioning
    Body Image
    Bragging
    Breakthrough
    Breath
    Dedication
    Dreams
    Gratitude
    Healing
    Home
    Humor And Gentleness
    Meditation
    Mother
    New Exciting And Different
    Ottolenghi
    Preserved Lemons
    Recipe
    Renovation
    Sharing
    Sobriety
    Sugar
    Time
    Vulnerability
    Weather
    Wyoming

    RSS Feed

All content is © 2018 by Jennifer Silverman. All rights reserved.